


Breather

by Progman



Series: Storming Heaven [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Action, Banter, Battlefield Banter, Cold Weather, Dirty Talk, Empty Flirting, Established Relationship, F/M, Flirting, Friendship/Love, Gallows Humor, Humor, Impressions, Mentor/Sidekick, One True Pairing, Overkill, Romance, Sexual Humor, Stolen Moments, Teasing, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-25
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-09 12:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Progman/pseuds/Progman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Compared to the horrors of the Reapers, fighting Cerberus is a welcome vacation. For the crew of the Normandy, at least. Shepard and Garrus haven't had much time to explore their relationship beyond the physical, so they're taking the vacations anywhere they can find them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sack of Batarian Heads

**Author's Note:**

> Mass Effect is owned by Bioware, EA, Elkoss Combine, yadda yadda yadda, who gives a fladoodle.
> 
> The following work was beta'd by the ever talented BSG-Legacy, and is part of the greater "Storming Heaven" series.
> 
> It was inspired by this wonderful piece of fan-art: nateyou dot deviantart dot com/art/Minute-348081445

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! HOW MANY TROOPS CAN ONE TERRORIST GROUP EVEN  _HAVE?!"_  Shepard took aim with her Carnifex and executed three assault troopers with calculated explosive rounds to the head. They erupted in searing fire and dragged a dozen more manipulated husks into the black. "My kill count for these idiots is  _well_ over a thousand!"

Shepard blinked as she heard the tell-tale garble of a phantom behind her.

_Idiots._

Shepard scoffed and pivoted on her heel to dodge the phantom's slicing lunge at her back.. She used the momentum to snap around and drive her knife into the indoctrinated woman's head, impaling it on the ancient wall. The monomolecular blade cleaved through her armor and grey matter like butter, boring it's way into bulkhead. The phantom screeched out in unholy agony and Shepard grimaced. She twisted the blade to silence the abomination, and pulled it out of the wall.

From across the battlefield, Garrus hummed thoughtfully and splattered the remains of yet  _another_ Nemesis. His signature low chuckle crackled over the comm. " _I'd say it was worrying if they weren't just so_ damn easy _to kill._ " His mandibles parted in a wide grin from under his helmet. " _...I'm more than a little embarrassed for the Illusive Man. He tries_ so hard _at this._ "

"Yeah, he  _really_ does..." She wiped the drenched flats of her cleaver on her blood-stripe with a chuckle and slid it back into her shoulder sheath. "Almost makes me regret slaughtering these idiots." Shepard fired a trio of explosive rounds into a far-off squad of troopers. They promptly detonated into red mist over the sun-drenched ground of Tuchanka." _Almost."_ Shepard lazily slipped back into cover and loaded a fresh thermal clip into her Carnifex.

Vega interjected through the comm, a bit worried. " _I...Lola, you_ do _realize we're in the middle of a damn warzone, right?_ _We're outnumbered,_ at the very least _, fifty to one!_ " James sprayed down a group of troopers with his Revenant, the incendiary rounds burning through their ranks like napalm. " _Scars, c'mon, back me up._ _Turians don't get all casual in battle, right?_ " He picked up the machine gun and re-positioned to another piece of cover as a second squad rounds the bend. The ruthless roar of the automatic rifle tears them apart as they enter out into the open.

Garrus chuckled and rested his sniper rifle up against his piece of cover. "I'm  _really_ not a model turian, Lieutenant. Shepard can attest to that-"

Shepard laughed once and playfully beckoned through the comm. "Or so he  _claims_.! The Primarch seems to hold you in  _pretty_ high regard, Garrus! Have you been  _lying_ to me this whole time about your 'rebellious spirit'?" She clicked her tongue playfully and switched her cannon to her off-hand. Shepard snapped off a few rounds at some unsuspecting guardians. Their barricades were shredded from the explosion, and the shrapnel tore through their armor. "You're gonna pay for that..."

Garrus growled lasciviously.  _"_ _Aha..._ I fully intend to. _"_ He chuckled as James stared at him from across the base with eyes so uncomfortable he almost didn't have to magnify the image. " _Be that as it may..._ " Garrus sat down beside his rifle and rolled his neck. " _...we_ do  _agree on this specific subject._   _Fighting Cerberus isn't like the fighting the Reapers. This is more_ _a_..." He shrugged. "...welcome breather  _from the war. For us, at least._ "

Shepard grinned and channeled dark energy. "Damn right. Trust us, Lieutenant." She pivoted out of cover and wrapped a long mass-effect 'lash' around a far off Nemesis. "Gotta take the vacations..." The sniper screeched and was sent rocketing through the air back toward Shepard. "...where you..." She pulled back her balled hand, creating a low-mass field around her limb, and thrust her arm forward at the helpless husk. Her fist impacted the Nemesis's head in mid-air just as the low-mass field inverted itself around her fist, making the blow exponentially more powerful. The woman's skull caved in under the force and her lifeless body was sent sprawling over the metal floor. "...can find 'em."

James blinked and cursed under his breath. " _Mi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas!_ " He quickly reloaded his rifle and unloaded on another unsuspecting squad of soldiers.

"Wait, I'm sorry..." Shepard laughed musically, her translator doing it's job rather well. "...your  _what..._ " The commander dove forward and hurled herself into a low-mass channel, sending her streaking toward a very unlucky Centurion who just happened to be a bit too close to Garrus. She slammed into him with a flash of blue light and smashed his head into the pavement, snapping his spine with a satisfying crack. "...is full of  _what?!"_

" _Just making sure_ _you_ _hadn't gone_ completely  _loco_ _, Commander._ " James snorted and tightened the grip on his rifle. " _I'll keep that in mind, by the way. About the vacations._ "

"See that you do..." Shepard rose back up to her full height and placed her hands on the small of her back. "...and I wouldn't mind  _coming along for the ride..."_ She pushed out her chest and balanced on her toes as she stretched her shoulders.

" _Well,_ hell, _Lola. Liara told me about this great bed and breakfast on the Citadel...I'm thinking it warrants a first, second and third try, don't you? Doctor's orders._ "

"I don't know, James... You. Me. A whole  _week_ trapped in that bedroom...think you can handle it?"

" _Woah! Yeah, I mean...probably...it's not like...uh...there's just so many...it's..._ " He stumbled and cleared his throat. " _...I'm gonna..._ "

"...shoot some bad guys...?"

" _Yeah. Shoot some bad guys._ " James exhaled and shook the less-than-decent machinations out of his head.

"Good man." Shepard snickered and cracked her neck.

Garrus looked up at her and chuckled. " _So._  Nice of you to drop by..." He gestured lazily to the very dead centurion. "...and I assume this for me...?"

"Maybe. Or maybe I just couldn't keep myself away..." Shepard grinned from beneath her helmet, and her playful tone only enhanced it. "...that, and it's  _so_ much faster than running."

"I've noticed. Remind me never to try and catch you when coming out of one of those." He chuckled and patted the ground beside him.

Shepard smiled and lowered herself down next to her turian, right where his armored talons had instructed. She leaned her head back against the low wall he was using for cover and hummed wryly. "I'm sure you could handle it, Garrus." She shrugged. "It's just like all the other times I've jumped you, but with added bonus of me speeding toward you at three-hundred kph." She smirked and raised a brow at him.

"Three hundred. Really?" He winced coyly. "Ah, too bad.  _Two-fifty_ is the hierarchy cut off for insane-romantic-flying-hugs."

Shepard scoffed and her eyes widened in faux-shock behind her helmet. "You asking me to  _slow down_ , Vakarian?" She smacked the back of her hand against his hulking barrel chest and laughed.

Without missing a beat, Shepard effortlessly lifted a squad of advancing soldiers off of the ground. The both of them popped off a few rounds from their pistols and the troopers quickly became burning red putty.

Garrus furrowed his browplates and collapsed his pistol. "Never." He rolled his shoulders and rested his helmeted head against the wall. "I just...prefer my arms where they are. I finally got them calibrated right."

"Right. 'Course you did." Shepard chuckled, holstered her cannon, and unlocked the latches on her helm. She removed her helmet and took a deep breath, relishing the feeling of the hot sun on her skin. "Lieutenant. Think you can hold down the fort for a few minutes?" Shepard settled her helmet in front of her and rested her cheek against his armored cowl. Garrus purred and removed his own helmet, placing it beside hers. " _Scars_ and I need to have a chat."

" _Uh, I_ guess. _.."_ James frowned and took a quick look around to discern the pair's location. As he realized he couldn't find them, he groaned frustratedly. " _Oh..._ _for the love of-_ seriously _?!_ _You two want me to guard your asses while you do...whatever it is..._ _that you two...do_ _..._ _ugh..._ " He shuddered at the thought and gripped his rifle tighter. ". _.._ Now?!  _Lola, even for_ you- _-"_

Shepard rolled her eyes and locked her arms around Garrus's right. "Look, no need to get  _jealous,_ James.. I'm perfectly capable of  _not_ tearing his armor off and mounting him like-"

" _Okay, alright! I've got this one!_ Dios mio _, please stop talking!_ " He shook his head of that horrifying mental image and fired a long burst into another mass of Cerberus troopers.

"Now don't  _spoil_ me, James..." She giggled coquettishly. "Going radio silent." Shepard snickered as she clicked off her comm while Garrus did the same. "Although...you  _do_ make it damn difficult sometimes..." She smirked wryly and then bit her lower lip. "...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't  _heavily_ considering doing just that..."

Garrus flared his mandibles in a wide grin. "As  _enticing_ as that offer is...I don't think James would appreciate it..." He chuckled and nestled his plated mouth in her hair.

" _Holy shit, he's got a Claymore! Take cover!"_

"Hah, yeah. He did seem pretty vocal about that..." Shepard hummed wistfully and allowed her eyes to close. Her breath softened and she nudged a little closer to him. "Mmm...I could sleep right here if I wasn't so sure we'd be..." She yawned. "...three-headed...dog food..."

" _COVER CAN'T SAVE YAH NOW, BASTARDS!"_

Garrus snickered and bopped his forehead against the top of her head. "... _Cerberus_...?"

Shepard smiled kindly and hummed. "Yup. I can make bad jokes too, you know."

Garrus shifted the bulk of his weight onto her shoulder, and she grunted in response to supporting him. "Oh. Well, look at that. I've  _fallen_ for you."

Shepard slowly turned toward him and pouted. "...Shut up..." She bit her lip and giggled.

"You'd hate that."

Shepard sighed wistfully. "You're right. I would." She looked up at him and took a deep breath. "You're the best."

Garrus pulled his mandibles back in a smile. "Oh, I know." She snorted into a snicker. "But I had a little help..."

"Not all that much, big guy. Not all that much..." Shepard stared into his piercing blue eyes.. Her brow and lips creased with concern. "Does it bother you that I flirt with Vega?"

" _Oh, you c_ _abróns_ _think you can hide from_ me?!  _Have some of these!"_

Garrus shook his head and nipped at her cheek. "Not even remotely. I know you're mine, and so do the both of you."

" _GRENADE! SCATTER!"_

Shepard sighed and her lips slowly formed a radiant smile. "Good. I..." She laughs breathlessly. "...this is so stupid..." Shepard shook her head and pulled on his arm a little tighter. "...it's just that, he's the first person in  _years_ who's been able to  _competently_ flirt with me." She smiled, a little ashamed. "...it's just so much  _fun_!"

Garrus laughed loudly and leaned his head back. "Spirits, is  _that_ why? I thought you just liked keeping him on edge."

Shepard snorted and entwined her armored fingers with his talons. "That's just a bonus. Think about it, though. For the past decade, what do you think people have seen me as?" She looked up at him thoughtfully.

Garrus rumbled thoughtfully and smirked. "I'd have to say...Commander Shepard."

" _That shield won't stop a krogan shotgun, buddy!"_

Shepard scoffed and punched his arm. "No. I wasn't a  _Commander_  ten years ago. I was..." She peeked out of their cover to catch a glimpse of Vega blowing away a Guardian with his Claymore. "...right about where James is, actually. Lieutenant Shepard."

"Curious..." Garrus leaned out to watch him for a moment but then returned his attention to her. "How did they see you, then?"

Shepard settled herself closer to her partner and looked up at him. "Larger than life. I went from enlisted to officer just as fast as Anderson did. Even before Torfan, I was...a model soldier." She frowned. "It got more specific, of course." She shrugged. "'Butcher' came around in '78..." Shepard grinned violently. "For good reason, I might add..."

"And they were all too terrified of the insane biotic woman who ripped batarian heads off for sport to  _flirt_  with her? Damn shame." He chuckled and rested his forehead against hers.

"Exactly." Shepard laughed and pressed her lips against his leathery mouth for a quick kiss. "Mmm, and I only did that  _once!_ Which, if I recall, you were  _there_ for..."

"I remember." Garrus purred wryly. "So that was a  _special_ _occasion_ , hm?. Were you trying to  _impress_  me, Shepard?" He pulled his mandibles into a wide grin.

" _Hey! Scars! Lola! I'm doin'_ juuuust fine  _without ya! Thanks for asking!"_

"Pbbth, no!"

"Well, that's too bad..." He wrapped his arms around her waist and she leaned into his touch, keeping their fingers and talons locked together. "...because it worked."

Shepard scoffed and playfully rolled her eyes. "I'll keep that in mind next time I want to do something special for you..."

"I'd not, if it's alright with you." He dipped his nose into her hair. "...I'd rather not explain a sack of severed batarian heads to Chakwas...or Liara...or Kaidan...or EDI..."

Shepard laughed loudly and grabbed his arms to ground herself. "Oh my God! Liara! Can you imagine?!" She manipulated her voice in her best impression of the asari, which, all things considered, was pretty good. "Shepard, would you care to explain why you left...ugh..a  _sack_ of  _batarian heads_  on the crew deck? Not only is it unsanitary but, honestly, it's horrific! What could have  _possibly_ possessed you to do such a thing?!" She continued her raucous laughter and bit her lower lip when she remembered where they were.

Garrus laughed as well and tightened his embrace around her. "That's...surprisingly accurate. Can you do Grunt?"

Shepard raised a brow at him. "...people already think I'm half-krogan, Garrus..." She cleared her throat and not-too-terribly mimicked to the tankbred's gravely voice. "Looks like you had fun without me, Battlemaster! You gonna eat all of those? RAHAHAHAHA-" Shepard coughed from the overexertion on her vocal chords and caught her breath.

Garrus tenderly nuzzled her cheek. "Alright?"

" _You want some of this?! Here, have some!_ _HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_ _"_

"Yeah." Shepard took a calming breath and blinked. "Actually, that reminds me..." She peaked out of their cover for a moment to see Vega mowing down yet  _another_ squad of troopers. "...Hackett's techs were sifting through the SA comm backlog, and they found an ICT commendation for James."

Garrus fluttered his mandibles and peered over the low-wall to watch the lieutenant. "Really. If I recall, that was the same program that you and Anderson attended, right?"

Shepard settled back in behind the wall and Garrus did soon after. "Yeah. Interplanetary Combatives Training. Best of the best. Of the best."

"Right-"

"-of the  _best._ " Shepard smiled up at him before continuing. "Got the message about a week ago. Ever since then..." She shrugged. "...I've technically been his training instructor...which is why he's doing this on his own right now." Shepard jabbed her thumb behind her. "But the funny thing is...he doesn't even  _need_ one."

" _Oh, I see you what you pendejos are trying to do! Not gonna happen! Carnage, comin' at ya!"_

Garrus raised a brow-plate and hummed curiously. "You're just  _that_ good of a teacher, then?"

Shepard shook her head. "No, not even close. He's just  _that_ good, Garrus. Hell, he's  _twice_ as good as he thinks he is." She smiled pridefully. "He just doesn't know it yet."

" _GET DOWN!_ " _  
_

Garrus rumbled deep in his chest and tilted his head. "...he seems just a capable marine to me..."

Shepard sighed and rested her cheek on his armored cowl. "He's more than just  _capable_ , Garrus. Think about it." He stroked his talons through her hair. "He's been keeping up with  _me,_ with  _you,_ with  _Kaidan_ , and..." She furrowed her brow. "...I guess we can count Javik on that scale, right? Hell, a fifty-thousand year old cockroach is keeping up with us!" Shepard chuckled. "If I didn't think he was right for the ground team, I'd have had him transferred. And..." She sighed. "...he reminds me  _way_ too much of myself before I got bumped up to N7."

Garrus delved his plated mouth into her hair. "Always the mentor, eh Shepard? Your protege surpasses you, and you move on,  _just like that_?" He hummed wryly and opened his mandibles as if he was stumbling upon some massive revelation. "Maybe...my father was  _right!_ Maybe humans  _are_ just fickle little pyjaks!"

Shepard snickered into a full blown laugh and knocked her head against his armored cowl. "Look who's talking, dinosaur...kitty... _bird."_

Garrus looked down at her, mandibles flared in a mischievous smile. "Don't birds  _eat_ monkeys on your homeworld?"

Shepard furrowed her brow and looked at him incredulously. "...what..?" She laughed musically. "No! No, good lord, birds do  _not_ eat monkeys on Earth!" She buried her face in his neck to muffle her dangerously loud laughter. "...who  _told_ you that?!"

"It's a very popular turian belief. I'll be sure to inform every single one of them that they're  _wrong_  as soon as this war is over." He tucked her head into the crook of his neck more securely and hummed into his throat. "...though I think they'll be a bit too preoccupied to really care..."

"I can imagine." Shepard took a deep breath and left the safety of his neck with a kiss on his leathery flesh. "...I think I picked up that mentoring instinct from Anderson, actually." She hummed nostalgically. "...and  _he_ got it from Jon Grissom. Supposedly."

Garrus chuckled. "And who did  _Grissom_ get it from?"

Shepard scoffed. "Nobody. Jon Grissom was an Alliance Marine before there  _were_ Alliance Marines!" She set her jaw in pride. "He was the biggest goddamn hero we had...really could use him right about now..."

" _ATLAS!"_

Not a moment later, a massive thundering crash rattled the ground as the fifteen foot tall combat mech smashed into the ground. It whirled around and began firing it's chain-gun at James, pinning him down.

" _LITTLE HELP HERE!?"_

Shepard sighed and clicked on her comm "Hold tight, James. We're on it."

" _Thank God! I thought you two love birds were dead!_ "

Garrus unmuted his comm and sealed his helmet in place. "Ready to get back to the war?" He picked up his rifle off of the ground and cradled it.

Shepard locked her helm and double checked her environment seals. "As ready as I'm gonna be."

"Good breather?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"...up for... _continuing_ _it_ _later_...?"

"Oh,  _h_ _ell yes._ "

-/o\\-

 


	2. Hellhound Frozen Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mass Effect is owned by Bioware, EA, Elkoss Combine, yadda yadda yadda, who gives a fladoodle.
> 
> The following work was beta'd by the ever talented BSG-Legacy, and is part of the greater "Storming Heaven" series.
> 
> It was inspired by this wonderful piece of fan-art: nateyou dot deviantart dot com/art/Minute-348081445. Again.
> 
> Also this one: weissidian dot deviantart dot com/art/ME-Garrus-rain-352515700
> 
> And would you believe I posted an old version of this chapter by mistake? Hurrdurr.

The raging tundra of Noveria buried the now-defunct Cerberus facility with pound after pound of endless snow. The landing pad was completely covered, and visibility was next to nothing thanks to the intensity of the blizzard. Shepard trudged triumphantly, or as triumphantly one could while slogging through thick snow, out of the main entryway and began to make her way to the landing pad. "Come, on. Let's get the hell off this frozen rock!" Garrus and Javik followed closely behind her, keeping their rifles raised in the event of an ambush. Their collective boots, or in Javik's case, feet, crunched through the snow at a steady pace.

Garrus groaned in frustration as they left the heated confines of the facility, and began to shiver almost immediately. " _Spirits,_ it's cold." He shook his helmeted head and grit his fangs.

Shepard snorted and looked over her shoulder at where Garrus _most likely_  was, judging by the turian-shaped silhouette hidden in the white haze. To him, she probably appeared as a vague human with a helmet on. It was more a symbolic gesture than anything else.

_Apparently, two or three meters of visibility is asking too much._ Thanks _Noveria. Galaxy-class hospitality right there._

"I don't hear Javik complaining." Shepard chuckled and her boot bumped into shredded combat armor, submerged by the snow. "Not really my fault your internal heating crapped out on you. We'll get it fixed right up as soon as we get back, alright?" She stepped over frozen trooper's corpse and shouldered her rifle. "Watch out for bodies. Storm buried them already."

Javik stepped over the cold corpses and grunted. "I do not announce distress when enemies are present. To admit weakness is to be a fool."

"He can also  _breathe in space,_ Shepard. I'm a little outclassed." Garrus furrowed his browplates and bit down on the thin, frigid air. "Might as well install redundant systems while we're at it. Would  _hate_ for my air supply to die on me." He pulled back his mandibles in a sly grin.

Shepard snorted and fished a flare gun out of her pack. "Yeah, you  _don't_ want that, big guy. Doubt Blackwatch will spend four billion credits to bring  _you_ back from the dead." She shrugged and aimed the single-shot pistol at the sky. "Bit busy with the Reapers."

Suddenly, an earth shattering sonic-boom tore through the sky. The ground team looked up, hoping to discern the source of the noise through the impenetrable blizzard. A bright red flare flickered to life a few kilometers above them, that grew larger and larger as it plummeted toward the ground.

_That's not good._

Garrus walked up beside the Commander and hummed. "...that's odd...I was  _positive_  you hadn't fire the flare yet. Although, that doesn't explain the noise..." He cleared his throat and shook out his shoulders.

Shepard tilted her head curiously and raised a brow, her gaze firmly planted on the enlarging blaze in the sky. "...I  _didn't_ fire the flare. The hell  _is_ that?" She shook her head and clicked on her comm. "Joker, is there a Cerberus cruiser parked above our heads?"

Joker crackled through, distorted from the storm. "-kssssssh _-relay-kssssssssssssh-hail you-kssssssh-dropped-ksssh-"_

"Say again? Storm's causing interference."

" _Cruiser just-ksssssssssh-not sure how it's supposed to_ land _-kssssssssh-"_

Shepard's eyes widened, shocked. "They're  _landing_ that thing to take us out? It's in  _freefall_!"

" _What? No!-_ kssssh _-mech! Atlas-_ ksssssh _-"_

"Oh thank God." Shepard sighed, relieved, and turned to smile at Garrus. "Just an Atlas mech."

Garrus shrugged. "That's not too bad. Much better than a cruiser."

Shepard looked back up at the red blaze and narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, should be landing..."

_Closest clearing is the landing pad, which-_

The revelation hit her like a freight train through an orphanage.

"...right on top of us."

_Shit._

Garrus clamped his mandibles down on his cheeks. "Crap."

"LET'S MOVE!" The commander sprinted through the snow as best she could, and off the landing pad. She ran up the ramp and dove into cover, with Garrus and Javik in tow. Her blue-eyed turian bunkered down beside her, and Javik positioned himself on the other side of the exposed ramp.

The towering combat mech splashed down in the center of the landing pad with a ground-shattering crash. Packed snow burst into the air, creating a heavy screen of fog that only blinded the ground team more. The Atlas rose to it's full height, turned on it's blaring floodlights, and immediately began stomping along the perimeter of the landing pad. It's lumbering feet thrashing through the thick blankets of snow that covered the area, kicking it up and ruining what was once a picturesque 'winter wonderland'.

_Suppose Atlas mechs aren't really built for stealth in the first place..._

Shepard cocked her head at the landing pad, keeping herself pinned to the barrier she was using for cover. "Hundred credits says I can beat that Atlas to death." Her lips curved upward in a smug smirk. She blinked, and wiped away the fog on her visor. "...you know, before it finds us by 'process of elimination'."

_...Feel like this icing problem should've been fixed by now..._

The Atlas skulked around in a circle as it attempted to locate the ground team. The ridiculously constant  _blizzard_ that was Noveria rendered heat sensors useless, and the Atlas effectively blind. Why it hadn't dared to venture past it's makeshift haven was anyone's guess, but Shepard was just glad that Cerberus was, at the very least,  _consistently_ stupid.

_Cerberus._ Such  _professionalism._

Suddenly, in a rare act of bravado, the Atlas fired a pair of rockets into a gathering of perfectly innocent crates.

Relatively  _innocent. This_ is  _Noveria_ ,  _after all._

The boxes promptly exploded in blazing hellfire. The excess fuel that somehow  _hadn't_ been ignited from the blast sprayed out onto the landing pad, staining large patches of the snow bright yellow. Thankfully, that was nowhere near where the ground team was hiding. The mech almost seemed to  _glare_ at the burning debris, as if it was disappointedby the lack of screaming and severed limbs in the wreckage. Not to mention that, unlike the mech, the broken crates were now very, very,  _very_ warm.

Garrus furrowed his browplates and slid a fresh heat-sink into his rifle. "Uh. Hm." His lungs strained to compensate for the cold air, making each breath more and more labored. "You want...to kill an Atlas...with your fists." He hunkered down beside her and peeked out at the pouting mech. "Is...is...that what you're telling me, Shepard? That you can punch...an  _Atlas mech..._ until it breaks?" He turned back to her and chuckled breathlessly. "I wish I shared your confidence."

"Oh, hush." Shepard grinned at his polarized faceplate, eyes flashing dangerously. "That is  _exactly_  what I'm telling you, Garrus." She cracked her knuckles with a satisfying snap.

The frigid cold of Noveria was one of the galaxy's few infuriating absolutes. While other planets had cataclysmic seasonal changes, asteroid drops, orbital bombardments, military coups, pirate raids, re-legalized slavery, nationwide karaoke contests and month-long hedonism festivals, Noveria just stayed  _frozen_.

Garrus snorted, mandibles tightening on his cheeks as a shiver curled up his spine."If it'll get us off of this frozen nightmare,  _again_ , I'll do whatever you want."

_Aaaaand there it is. One of the_ other  _galactic absolutes. So now that's the Reapers, political bullshit, bureaucracy, entropy, and most of all,_ turians hating the cold.

_Hm. Normally we're only fighting_ four  _of those. Guess this just one of those_ lucky days  _where we get to face off against all five._

_...Yaaaaaaaay..._

Shepard covered her visor with her palm and frowned. "Garrus, for the love of God stop complaining. It's  _really_ not an attractive trait." She gestured absently toward his hulking form. "Just tough it out. You've been through worse. _"_ Shepard's eyebrows shot up so quickly they nearly disappeared into her hair. She slowly removed her hand, and her eyes lit up mischievously. "Really?  _Whatever I want?_ Forget the credits, Garrus. This one's for free." A positively wicked grin creased her lips. "I've got  _bigger_  plans for us..."

_YAY!_

Garrus growled lowly and leaned just inside her personal space. "Oh? Well, then-"

"Cease this nonsense!" Javik glared at them from the other side of the exposed ramp. "You are both warriors, and yet you leave your enemy alive!" He shoved his Particle Rifle toward the mech. "In my cycle, passion did not arise in the absence of battle. Our strongest joined with those just as strong, and the weak were left without their own young."

Shepard lowered one brow and stretched her fingers in front of her. "...the empire didn't  _really_  limit procreation during their war with the reapers, did they?" She shimmied her body in place, dislodging a few heaps of snow that had pooled on her armor."That doesn't make any goddamn sense."

Garrus hummed thoughtfully. "I'm...inclined to agree with Shepard. I don't think your people really did that, Javik." He slapped the back of his helmet, sending packed snow tumbling out of his cowl and right on top of Shepard."It makes no tactical sense in a war for your own..." Garrus violently rolled his shoulders as he tried to shake off the cold. He cleared his throat and swallowed. "...for your own survival." _  
_

Shepard swiped the excess snow from her armor and nudged Garrus with her shoulder. "And neither does armor with a built in  _rain basin._ " She ran her index finger along the edge of his cowl and snickered. "...what happens when water gets stuck in there...?"

Garrus sighed and shook his head. "...the entire suit is  _sealed,_ Shepard." He shivered again, but quickly straightened his posture. "A little rain or snow isn't going to keep me down." Garrus coughed and forced air into his lungs. "...even if it's a massive blizzard."

"Uh-huh." Shepard snorted and clicked her tongue. "So why are you shivering?" She playfully poked the center of his breastplate.

"It's  _cold._ "

"ENOUGH!" Javik yelled over another pair of detonating warheads. "If the both of you refuse to fight..." The ancient flashed his teeth and gathered a surging pool of dark energy. "Then I shall vanquish this one alone!" He erupted in a blazing green glow and roared over the din of the mech's footfalls."For the Empire!" The prothean sprinted down the ramp, throwing out his arm to send a leaching warp into the mech's cockpit. "Your armor will not protect you for long, human!"

_...wonder how he doesn't get frostbite..._

The mech staggered backward, it's mechanized feet struggling to find purchase on the iced deck. Cracks shot across the windscreen as it regained its footing. In a rage, the pilot arced the mech's fist into the ground in the hopes of smashing the prothean like the bug he so eerily resembled.

Javik side-stepped the blow and effortlessly scrambled up the arm of the mech. "I see your weakness, human!" He swiftly climbed onto the back of the mech and shoved a lift grenade into the exhaust port. "You cannot defend against attacks from within!" Javik laughed loudly and leaped of the back of the mech, and quickly rolled into cover.

A shattering boom echoed across the landing pad as the compounding mass-effect explosion crippled the mech's inner systems. Sheets of snow gusted outward and blanketed Javik in a not-so-fine powder. Shrapnel and shredded polymer burst out of the mech's back as it stumbled forward from the blast and wedged themselves into the facility's outer walls. The smaller bits tore through what remained of the 'innocent' crates and smoke flowed dangerously out of it's now exposed back. It's shields flickered frantically, and then failed completely. The floodlights, surprisingly, were still functional.

Javik laughed maliciously from cover, completely ignoring that his armor was now covered in snow. "I have faced foes three times as large, and four times as worthy!" He rose up and fired a continuous stream into the exposed internal workings of the mech, melting and corroding them with the intense heat of the beam. "They did not best me, and neither shall you!"

The pilot jerked the control sticks to the side repeatedly in a state of panic. After far too many tries, he managed to force the upper half of the mech into a one-hundred and eighty degree rotation. The mech's chaingun spun to life and sprayed a mountain of rounds at the prothean's position while it's feet struggled to re-aligned themselves with it's body. Javik braved the barrage for as long as his shields could hold, and retreated back into cover as his barrier shattered from the constant fire.

Shepard and Garrus peaked out from behind their barricade to watch the display, using Javiks' particle beam and the subsequent explosion as superior lighting. The commander couldn't help but snicker at the yellow snow. "He didn't want to admit we caught him lying." She shook her head and smiled. "...and I knew he'd do that." Shepard nudged him with her shoulder."Hey. Garrus." She patted the cheek of his helmet. " _Don't eat the yellow snow._ "

Garrus tightened his mandibles, furrowed his browplates and blinked. He turned to stare at her, baffled. "I...wasn't planning on it."

"No, I...wait..." Shepard furrowed her brows and rubbed her palms together to heat them up. "...what color is turian urine?"

" _What?"_ Garrus widened his eyes and cleared his throat, clearly shocked and unprepared for that kind of question. "Uhm. This..." He chuckled nervously. "... _really_ not the time or place to discuss...any of that."

Shepard held up her hands in defense and her eyes bugged out in a state of panic. "No no no no no no. No. Aheh, no. You..." She chuckled anxiously. "...you're misunderstanding. It's a joke! About...uh..." The commander sighed heavily and banged the back of her head against the wall. "...goddammit. Never mind." She flicked her wrist in a throwaway gesture.

"Well, I'm sure it was very funny. If I understood it." Garrus cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders. "I'm just glad Javik is too... _preoccupied_  to give a lecture on prothean digestive habits."

Shepard snickered. "Hah. Yeah." Shepard turned to him with a kind smile. "You know, this does give us some time to ourselves."

"Vacation?"

"Vacation."

"I like the way you think." Garrus chuckled rhythmically and slung his rifle.

"Oh?  _Just_ the way I think?" Shepard hummed coyly and lightly tapped her boot against his ankle. "Don't start holding out on me  _now_ , big guy." She smiled and held out her hands in a 'come at me' gesture. "C'mon. What else?"

"Well..." Garrus chuckled again and crossed his arms. "I never knew you were so  _desperate_ for attention."

Shepard mirrored his stance defiantly. "Guess I'm lucky that turians are  _attentive_ then, huh?" She jutted her chin up at him and smirked.

"That you are." Garrus narrowed his blue eyes at her and flickered his mandibles. He winced as another shiver wracked through his carapace. "But...but lists are...well, they're  _lazy._ " His voice rose to a playful tone and he grew a turian smile. "...wouldn't you rather have a... _hands-on demonstration?_ "

"...trying to tell me you want  _body_ _heat_? Mmm." Shepard slowly rested her palms on his breastplate and stared up at him with barely contained  _need._ "Garrus." She drew a small circle with her index finger on his armor. "As much as I  _love it_ when you say things like that..." Her voice dropped several octaves. "...it makes it  _very_ difficult not to biotically tear your armor off and  _mount_  you until my thighs burn off." She gripped the edge of his cowl and grunted. "...which is a  _wonderfully terrible_ idea in a warzone..."

"I can think of a few  _more_ -"

Javik laughed through the comm. " _I look forward to skinning you, human! A coward's hide is an excellent trophy!"_

"...God...Goddamnit..." Shepard grew a very bemused expression, frowned and slapped her helmet against Garrus's barrel chest. "...travels fifty thousand years  _just_ to be a mood killer."

Garrus hummed and slowly dislodged her head from his armor. "It's alright." He swiped off the new layer of snow that had gathered on her armor and chuckled. "Just gives us more incentive to wait, hm?"

Shepard sighed and rolled her shoulders. "It damn well better." She puffed out air and reset her posture. "Ok. Vacation. Let's keep..." She snapped her fingers. "...doin' that."

The commander's internal heating system sputtered, clicked and unceremoniously died. Shepard creased her lips into a thin line and got as close to Garrus as her armor would allow. "...my heater just burnt out..." The last of her warm air was quickly exhausted, and she ground her teeth as the unbearable cold of the blizzard seeped into her armor. She shivered and groaned in anger. "Goddamnit!"

_GODDAMNIT!_

"Yeah. That's not good."

Shepard balled her hands into fists and chewed her lip. "This is just  _fantastic._ Come on. Vacation."

"Right." Garrus tilted his head and clicked his mandibles. "...when was the last time we had one of these...?"

Shepard threw out her arms in display, and grimaced as her bones began to feel brittle. "Big gun on Tuchanka." She scoffed and rubbed the forehead of her helmet. "James needed uh...'isolation training'."

"I think it worked." Garrus hummed thoughtfully, bobbing his head. "He seemed more...capable on the Citadel." He took a few deep, labored breaths.

"Yeah, he did." She entwined her armored fingers in his talons and smiled up at him. "God, for a second there I thought he was gonna  _shoot_  Kaidan!" Shepard gestured in front of her, as if Kaidan were standing before them.

Garrus squeezed her hand and chuckled. "...it wouldn't really have done anything." He shrugged. "Even at...that range, it still would have taken a dozen shots just...just to break through his barrier."

Shepard giggled. "Yeah. But..." She brushed her thumb across the flat of his talons."Would've been  _really_ funny if Kaidan shrugged off a full clip like it was  _nothing_." She hummed wistfully. "...and it was  _kinda_  like having two men fight over me." The commander gripped his hand powerfully as shivered again.

Garrus titled his head curiously. "I'm sorry, you're going to have to explain that one to your turian  _boyfriend_. He's a little lost."

Shepard snorted and patted his chest. "Nothing to worry about, big guy. It's just..." She rubbed the back of her helmet. "Kaidan a thing for me back on the SR1...not even a  _week_ after I took command he started to not so subtly flirt with me." She rolled her eyes. "I played along, 'cause it was fun, and since he was such a hard ass for regulation, I never thought he'd actually...act on it. Or, well  _try._ " The commander bumped her helmet against his cowl. "I dunno. If that was a  _real_ fight, Vega would've lost. No question. And he'd have been crestfallen that his  _beloved_  Commander Shepard wasn't his, and his alone." Shepard snickered at the silliness of her statement.

Garrus pulled his mandibles back in a smile. "Vega?  _Crestfallen_?" He hummed mischievously. "Remind me to...steal his wallet and...blame it on Kaidan." He panted for a few seconds, catching his breath.

Shepard stared up at him, baffled. "...stealing?  _Really?_  Didn't you use to..." She balanced on her heels and dutifully wiped off the layer of ice that had gathered on his visor. "...work for  _C-SEC?_ " The commander snickered and idly imagined Garrus becoming a pickpocket, of all things.

Garrus deadpanned. "That's why they'd never suspect it was me." His mandibles flared out in a wide grin and he coughed. "I  _also..._ ahem...worked as a criminal, as you may recall."

"Oh,  _I_  remember." Shepard frowned and leaned her head back to stare up at the sky. "...that was a good day. Found my...fire...again..." She trailed off with a weary sigh.

"Hey." Garrus squeezed her armored hand and purred in a concerned tone. "...how are you holding up?" He narrowed his eyes and tightened his mandibles down on his cheeks.

"God. No clue." Shepard's shoulders slumped and her gaze fell to the floor. "I was fine before Tuchanka..." She slowly shook her head, as if she wasn't even sure if she was doing it right. "Now...? I don't even know." The commander shrugged lazily and gripped his hand tighter.

Garrus purred a comforting tone and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Mordin?"

"...kind of." Shepard rested her hands on his and bit her lip. She took a few deep breaths and was silent for a long moment. "...I...didn't want it cured, Garrus. I tried to stop him." She gripped his armored talons tightly and shivered. "The other krogan  _aren't_  like Wrex. They'd kill him...and we'd have a thousand years of bloodshed. I  _couldn't_  let that happen."

Garrus sighed and wrapped his arms around her tighter. "For what it's worth, I'd have done the same." He hummed soothingly and nuzzled the side of his helmet against hers. "But you had to. You'd have lost turian support _and_  the krogan. We  _can't_  win this war without both."

"Not exactly." Shepard shook her head and frowned. "I could have gotten all three. The dalatrass made me an offer. Sabotage the cure while tricking the krogan, and I get their fleets and scientists." She looked up at Garrus with a conflicted expression. "This is a  _naval_  war, Garrus. What we do on the ground means  _nothing_  if we can't back it up in space. The krogan, with all their strength are just..." Shepard chewed on her lip. "...fodder."

"I know. Wrex knows it too, and I'm betting some part of him resents it." He blinked, and his mandibles flickered. "...which is why he wanted it cured so badly. With the genophage, the krogan would die out winning this war."

"...maybe." Shepard swallowed and tucked her head into his neck.

Garrus rumbled in his chest. "...how did Mordin manage to talk you down?"

Shepard pulled back and crooked her lip to the side. "He...didn't. I hesitated, and he..." She rubbed the back of her head. "...hit me with that STG neural shock of his..." Shepard winced, remembering the pain.

Garrus tilted his head and furrowed his brow-plates. "...but you didn't chase after him?"

Shepard set her jaw and shook her head. "No. Wrex intervened." She grunted and gave his hands a strong squeeze. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. New topic?"

Garrus nodded. "Alright. What to talk about..." He chuckled, remembering. "Ah! You know, I'm starting to think you might be  _half-prothean_ , too. As opposed to only being half-krogan."

Shepard playfully kicked his leg, letting her mind wander away from the previous topic. "Oh, really? Why's that?" She glanced sidelong at her blue-eyed turian and smirked.

"Hold that thought."

Garrus casually extended his right arm to his side and overloaded the squad of troopers that had 'snuck' up on them. While visibility was next to nothing, they could still  _hear_ everything just fine. The massive burst of electrical energy arced from soldier to soldier, stunning them as they screamed and doubled over from the debilitating pain. Without missing a beat, Shepard primed and rolled a cluster grenade at their feet. The cerberus husks exploded with a brilliant display of blue and promptly turned to meat.

"As I was saying..." Garrus cleared his throat. "your combat style is...oddly similar to Javik's. And  _his_  is over fifty-thousand years old."

Shepard nodded. "Mm. I've noticed that. It seems to work pretty well for the both of us, don't you think?" She chuckled and jabbed her thumb toward Javik.

The prothean ignited the fuel-stained snow and a searing fireball consumed the mech. "I shall watch you and your compatriots  _burn!"_ The blizzard quickly cleared the smoke, revealing that the mech's feet were now warped to the landing pad, and that it's floodlights broken. The atlas shifted forward, and it's legs slowly ripped free of the ground.

"Resolve is a virtue reserved for  _true_ soldiers! Allow me to strip you of it!" Javik fired a slow, sweeping stream of energy from his rifle across the knee joints of the Atlas. His focus tore through what little remained of the outer plating and seared it's way to the inner layers. The armor boiled away and the complex machinery underneath melted profusely, irrevocably soldering the mechanized joints together in grey mush. Burnt metal and plastic stained the air with it's pungent stench and the mech's legs revolted, straining loudly from the damage. The pilot cursed and tried to force the mech forward again, only to be met with the sound of creaking metal, warped gears and violent shuddering of the entire warframe.

"You are immobilized! Lay down your arms, and I will make your death a painless one!" Javik glared at the cockpit and was rewarded with a flurry of machine gun fire. He strafed the gun, sprinting from cover to cover as the top half tracked and rotated to his movements. "A clever tactic, but ultimately a doomed one! Your ammunition can be exhausted, whereas  _I_  will not!"

Shepard shrugged. "I've fought like  _that_  since I made N7. Used to be much more reserved."

Garrus tilted his head curiously. " _Reserved?_  You? I think you'll understand if I have a hard time believing that, Shepard."

Shepard snickered and nudged him with her shoulder. "Hey, I wasn't  _always_  this ruthless, capable, deadly, brutal-"

"-impossibly  _sexy_ warrior that I see before me?" Garrus pulled his mandibles back in a cheeky smile.

Shepard smirked and mimed at flicking her hair. "Oh, I  _know_  I've got a waist that  _loosens_... _plates_..." She placed her hands on her hips and struggled to keep a straight face. All at once, she grabbed her stomach, smacked her fist against the wall and laughed musically. "I...I can't even...Goddammit, Garrus!" Her laughter devolved into a childish giggle and Shepard couldn't stop herself from smiling wide. "...dear  _lord_...I have to  _relearn_  how to talk dirty! Human stuff doesn't work on turians!" Shepard threw her hands up in the air in mock-defeat and sighed contentedly.

Garrus snickered and tapped his helmet against hers. "There, there. You're all the stimulation I need..."

Shepard pouted from behind narrowed eyes but soon broke with a snort. "That was  _terrible..._ " She crossed her arms and smiled. "Excluding your...earlier comments...I think we  _both_  need lessons on cross-species dirty talk, big guy."

The prothean on the landing pad laughed maniacally as he continued to circle the Atlas, firing a continuous beam at the beast. "Protheans do not tire, human! We are the masters of our own bodies and endure all that we must! We are trained to strike deeply and relentlessly, and taught never to halt our assault until the enemy lies flat on their backs! Bow before the empire!"

Garrus raised his brow-plates slightly and slowly turned his head toward Javik. "...I think I may know a good tutor."

Shepard stared straight ahead, eyes wide in shock. "...when we get back to the ship..." She slowly licked her lips and balled her fists. "...you are  _fucking_  that mental image, and this  _cold,_ out of me." Her eyes refocused and she snapped her head toward Garrus with unflinching resolve. Shepard's voice dropped several octaves, and she very briefly considered tearing his armor off in the middle of a blizzard for the fourth time that day. " _Understand?_ "

Garrus purred lewdly, matching the intensity of her gaze. "Oh, I'll do more than that..." His eyes narrowed, and he slowly brushed their visors together. "...I was planning on  _replacing_  it with one of my own..."

Shepard raised her brows and felt her cheeks blush, among other things. It always amazed her that, no matter how sultry she acted, Garrus would  _always_ find a way to top her and turn her brain to mush...in a few dozen more ways than one.

_God. If it gets any hotter in here Noveria is going to be a tropical resort. Like Virmire, but without all the fussy krogan and...deadly...radiation..._

_Goddamnit._

_Dear Ash, Thinking of you. Noveria still sucks ass. Love, Shepard. PS: Keep your angel gaze out of my cabin._

Shepard cleared her throat and nonchalantly slammed her fist into the wall behind her. The violent circulation staved of the cold, if only for the moment. "Javik had better hurry up with that goddamn mech." She poked her head out from cover to check on his progress. Garrus quickly followed suit.

The prothean fired a long, concentrated beam from his rifle that cut through the missile launcher arm of the Atlas mech. The mechanized appendage crashed to the ground with a thundering smash, and the pilot proceeded to curse loudly.

"Your arm is off! Yield, primitive!  _Yield!_ " The prothean laughed loudly and severed the other massive arm from it's body, smashing it against the floor with a second crack. "Now  _both_  of your arms are off! Clearly your Illusive Man was not as powerful a leader as you had thought!"

Garrus rumbled in his chest. "...he still hasn't cracked the canopy. It might be a minute."

"NOT FAST ENOUGH!" Shepard's body erupted in a powerful biotic glow, and she bolted out of cover. Suspending herself in a low-mass channel, she streaked toward the waiting canopy of the Atlas. Shepard grabbed the handholds of the window as she smashed into the glass in a blinding blue flare. The force of her impact swept the Atlas off of it's feet and sent it toppling down onto it's back.

Shepard braced her boots on the lower half of the window as the two-ton mech landed with a loud smash. She took a moment stare at the trooper, giving his armor a quick survey. The blizzard raged and swept around her form, giving her an almost ghostly presence. "Hi. I'm Commander Shepard." Shepard giggled maliciously and knocked her knuckles against the canopy. "How ya' doin?"

The trooper shivered erratically in his seat, silent.

Shepard raised her brow at the soldier's lack of communication. "Piss yourself yet?"

The trooper nodded his head.

"Good." The commander grew a violent grin and pulled back her fist. The pilot screamed and banged his fists against the canopy in a futile plea of mercy. Shepard simply glared at him and her smile grew more demonic. "Bit of advice. White is a  _terrible_  color for you."

Shepard surged dark energy into her hand, her entire arm erupting in a searing blue, roared, and slammed it down into the cockpit, detonating a localized point-blank nova to augment the power of her strike. The canopy shattered with a bellowing smash, and the pilot was turned to bloody pulp from the sheer force of Shepard's biotic assault. "Red is  _much_  better..."

Shepard took a deep breath and the radiant glow of dark energy dissipated around her in long wisps. "...shove it, Lawson." She winced, and removed her thankfully-not-her-blood drenched fist from the cockpit. "Ffff...Ow..." Shepard shook out her hand and bit her lip.

_Can't punch my way through Cerberus polymers,_ _hm?_ Wrong.

_...need to reinforce the gauntlets if I'm gonna try that again, though..._

Javik stared blankly up at the Commander for a long moment. "I had doubts about you, Commander. Now, I do not." He slung his rifle without another word.

"Thanks, Javik. Appreciate it." Shepard casually settled herself on the edge of the dead mech and repeatedly flexed her blood soaked hand. "You owe me a hundred credits, Garrus!" She beckoned to him and laughed, her body breaking out into a cold sweat.

"I'll be the judge of that." Garrus leisurely walked down the ramp and approached the hulking corpse. He panted, gave it a thorough up-and-down and, satisfied, kicked it with his boot. "Hm." After a few silent seconds he looked up at her and shrugged. "I have no idea what I just saw, but yes, I suppose I do." Garrus chuckled and shook his head.

Shepard leaped off of the mech with a grunt and landed beside Garrus. She smiled up at him and fired a flare into the air. The red marker burned brightly, and their comms clicked to signal that the shuttle had re-entered local communication range. "Cortez, we're ready for pick-up. Mop-up is complete, and we've got two busted suit heaters."

" _Roger that, Commander. ETA two minutes."_

"Double time, Lieutenant." Shepard smiled kindly and rested her clean hand on Garrus's breastplate. "I just found out how much I  _hate_  the cold."

Garrus purred and rested his helmet against hers. "...it's good thing turians run hot then, hm?"

"Hah, yeah. It is." She nuzzled her forehead against his and sighed.

"In my cycle, heat was the enemy. Cold masked us the from the Reapers-"

Shepard snapped her head to Javik and curtly cut him off. "Noted. _"_ She turned back to Garrus and her front teeth bit into her lower lip. "Oh, and in case you forgot..." Her voice grew husky and her lips split into a wide grin. "...you're not the only ones that  _run hot_..."

"...I think I'll need to test that."

"I'd be insulted if you didn't."

 

-/o\\-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the massive delay. Lost track of time, and then BSG's compy was being disagreeable. Then he got sick. Bit of a slippery slope this past month, heh. But we're back in business!
> 
> Writing Javik was so much fun. I love the idea of him mocking something big that clearly isn't paying attention to him.
> 
> Ooh, and I subverted that whole Cerberus Coup Conflict with the VS! I could see Ashely going down with a shot to the gut, but Kaidan? He's wearing full armor, and is a damn powerful biotic. Ash is wearing a skirt. I'll admit, it's totally possible she got caught with her proverbial pants down, and didn't have a personal kinetic barrier on her person. So that's totally cool with me.
> 
> We'll get to that scene in the Shroud in due time. Stick around. It's gonna be a wild ride. :D
> 
> Was it dumb? Did you hate it? Was it the best thing ever? (Pbbbth, yeah right.) Let me know in a comment :D

**Author's Note:**

> Auto-flirting with Vega? Subverted! Haha, score two for the...me!
> 
> Writing fluff without making it a massive...whatever the last two were? SUCCESS!
> 
> Actually having a plan to, oh gee I dunno, continue a story for once? YOU BETCHA! See that "Completed" label? OH, NO YOU DON'T!
> 
> Having less than a one month turn-around time for fics? BA-BOOM! I credit that entirely to the picture, though. And BSG-Legacy's promptness.
> 
> I've wanted to write Vega and Javik for a very long time. Halfway there! Guess who's coming along next chapter? Oh. Such fun will be had.
> 
> And don't worry, Shepard has a legitimate reason for everything she does. She's not one to take the reapers lightly. So any time you see her fighting them, she won't just sit around like this. Nor the geth.
> 
> "Mi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas!" means "My hovercraft is full of eels!". It's an old joke from a very old Monty Python sketch called "Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook". Nowadays, it's used in conjunction with bad translators. If you can't translate that phrase to another language and back again, it's a crummy translator.
> 
> Was it dumb? Did you hate it? Was it the best thing ever? (Pbbbth, yeah right.) Let me know in a comment! :D


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